One Story Slinger | WHEN REVIEWERS ATTACK – PROLOGUE OF GOODREADS BULLYING INVESTIGATION (CASE #09-2013)

One Story Slinger | When Reviewers Attack – Prologue of GoodReads Bullying Investigation (Case #09-2013).

 Reblogged from One Story Slinger:

It’s early on a quiet Saturday morning. The house is calm (kids and spouse are asleep), and you’re enjoying a cuppa joe or tea – or maybe a glass of OJ. You’ve caught up on the news – well, the comics, that’s most important! – so you’ve decided to check your author inbox. Or maybe you opt to check out reviews of a recently-released book to Amazon.com, or GoodReads.

Read more… 576 more words

Yet Another case of Goodreads Bullying… (optional)

Review: The Underlighters

The UnderlightersThe Underlighters by Michelle Browne

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

What a breath of fresh air, laughing fresh air.. hah.. if you read the book you will giggle a little too. When you live underground to avoid the Dust… Dust you say? Not zombies?? Not vampires? Not a pandemic? Nope.. DUST! Oh me oh my but this dust is more than just the maid wipes down off the piano on Tuesdays, this dust drove whole cities underground. Wait, it does have a dragon and scary spider monsters.. no clowns though!

Written in first person and in a journal style story, this had to be really good. I am not a journal style story fan, but I do love love love love first person point of view. But even if you are not a fan, and don’t want to read someones journal… I want to stress, really stress, you should take a chance. Half the time I would forget I was reading Janelle’s journal. This was her story, the communities and the worlds. Was it a memoir? No! Goodness, it was just wowzer!

Janelle was an incredibly well rounded, three-dimensional real character. Her voice was loud and because of this amazing ability for character development, Michelle was able to bring along the rest of the “cast”. I fell in love with them and also developed an extreme desire to curb stomp a couple of the characters. After reading this the bar was raised. I have had to take a break from reading because the last three books after this were so poorly written to me, I am wondering if she possibly ruined me :)

Oh sex, yes there was sex lots of lovely sex! Oh wait, it was not erotica or messy or gratuitous. It was beautiful, cathartic and (dare I use it again) wow! Oh and there is nothing missed here, no orientation, no judgments just hey, this is how it is. Without any discrimination, this is how it is. Janelle’s best friends get engaged and are so excited to have children in the home. She has inbetweens (bisexual) and uses the new genderqueer label of xer/xim/xe. I find it rare and refreshing.

OK… let’s see… character development, great sex scenes, oh did I mention I love the cover.. what else could make this even more amazing? Her world building!! Yes guys you can have it all, and a drink right along with it.. and some great food (hydroponic potatoes rock apparently). I could go on and on and on… and on but I guess I should stop… maybe!

But why read it, other than I told you too? Well do you like stories about after an apocalypse? Well there is that! Do you like realistic sex scenes that are not written by a man but someone who is writing an important part of the story? (There are only a few but they are so touching I wanted to squeal and say thank you thank you thank you over and over again, those get 6 stars!). This was one! Could there be more… NO CLOWNS!!!!!! Oh, wait… seriously this book is so well rounded, clean and well written it should be on the top of the top of all the lists! Up is a mess, people breath in the dust and become disorientated and hallucinate. Which is when things start being seen in the tunnels usually sends folks to the clinics to be tested for Dust exposure… but when the hallucinations start attacking back?? We have nightmares coming to life and the party is on, baby!

In a nutshell, again wow! Clean, crisp no nonsense an No WGAS* descriptions. Everything that is in this book is needed and nothing extra to muddy this amazing story. My biggest critique? A little to much of a “Happily Ever After”, but I’m cynic who doesn’t mind not having one so I don’t count. The last scene? Our lead in to the next book? Perfection and I don’t say that lightly. And she can write sex better than most romance and erotica writers I know. it’s real and made *looking around and whispering*…my girly parts tingle.

Five Breathing Regulators

five-masks

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Zombie books can REALLY suck sometimes. DISAPPOINTMENT!

Slow BurnSlow Burn by Bobby Adair

My rating: 1 of 5 stars (on GOODREADS, 2 on Amazon because their rating systems are different. I DID NOT LIKE IT)

Nothing special and utterly disappointing

Utter disappointment. I don’t care if there is a second book or what happens to ANY of these characters. No real character development took place so I never grew attached enough to care. I read some of the reviews and really was expecting this to be something fantastic and new. I am wallowing between a one and two star and the only reason it is getting two ON AMAZON on is because of the cover, here on GOODREADS a two means I thought it was OK, it is not OK to me, I did not like it, so GR is a harder rating curve. It is getting a one star because of a somewhat interesting concept (slow burn) and the clever title. Anything more would be to much love unfair and dishonest of me and how I felt. I am not trying to be mean, but I do not get how wonderful this supposedly is!?? Mind boggling. I bothered to write this review for a reason.

This is one book I judged by the cover, and the reviews and I regret it, totally regret it! I also learned a lesson, read on.

This was a fast read and I am still shocked it was over 200 pages since I read it so fast. Perhaps it was because I wanted to get to the great part everyone found which caused them to rate so high. I wanted, hoped that all the reviews I read were true. Apparently people have not read good zombie books because this is not one of them. It presented nothing special to be added to the zombie genre. A somewhat interesting concept with nothing to back up other than some speculation and .. it was just bad. Again a great cover but nothing close to a WOW or even a meh. I LOVE this genre, I read anything I can in it. I grabbed it because a friend shared the link because they know I read anything with zombies. I even like bad ones, the ones that do not take themselves to seriously that is. HECK I am a person who likes watching bad movies (as in Uwe Boll… ) as well as b-books because I love this genre so much.

Specifically, the character development is flat and almost missing entirely. I never really got emotionally attached nor did it make me want to know what happens next. I won’t be buying the next one and am glad I didn’t buy this but got it on an Amazon free day.**

It is a zombie book! I am suppose to care for survivors, not LIKED them but care what happens. Have some kind of reaction emotoinally to them. Whether it be wanting them to be the next to be ate or to survive! Of the two most developed characters they were still flat and lifeless (and not in the good aka undead way :) ) If the main character (stupid –redact.. how about beyond cliche and a direct pop-culture reference to the point of meme– name of Zed *rolling eyes*) was killed, I probably would breath a sigh of relief.*** Sorry I just would not waste your time especially if you are a zombie reader!

If I had paid for this I would not have any problem returning it.

** (added a week later) I was informed by one of the editors of the book, after she attacked me over on my Facebook PAGE, that it was perma-free. So every review is a verified purchase, I was also informed I should expect much character development for a book under 300 pages. I beg to differ, I expect it in a flash piece with thirty words).

*** NOT because he started off a mooch who was only needing rent money because he did not make enough as a barista or whatever else he was doing, but because even if he is suppose to be becoming the hero… it never happened, he never was able to make it BELIEVABLE no matter what cute girl he saves!! I really wish I had liked this, it would have me a world of hurt. But when a book has over 80 five star reviews, I felt compelled to give my own critical review because it fell FLAT for me.

((I want it noted that I have been bullied, harassed and attacked from Goodreads to Amazon, my main blog and FaceBook because I DARED post an honest review. Hence why I felt I needed to fill in some of confusing parts on why I did not like the story. I also re-read the book AGAIN to see if I maybe missed something, nope! I will also no longer accept any new review requests from here on out.))

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Bike by Eric Carney gets a new cover design, BY ME!

Bike+by+Eric+Carney+-+#WeeklyShorts

BIKE – a short story by Eric Carney – See it on GOODREADS

Bike by Eric Carney

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

It’s an 11 paged blow to the gut causing you to reach for your nearest child or pet—exactly what a short story is suppose to deliver. Eric Carney dips his quill into the mud puddles in the rainstorm and wreaks havoc with your emotions. Everyday items and moments remembered from our own past become riddled with darkness only imagined in our nightmares. I used to love the idea of handing down my son’s old Spiderman pyjamas to his son, but this story has ruined that dream forever.

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My response to the Zombieland Original Amazon Series Trailer

STICK A SOCK IN IT FUCKERS – MOVE OUT OF YOUR MOTHER’S BASEMENTS and STOP THINKING YOUTUBE IS YOUR LIFE.. OMG!

This is my review of the trailer on Amazon -” I can only review from what I saw from the April 17th trailer… since October’s pilot was removed and since the 24 reviews are mainly from people complaining about the 12 second COMING SOON AD, so truthfully people stop reviewing and Amazon REMOVE the bloody link that says there is a pilot there. (I watched the pilot way back when I swear but have no recollection.. I think.. or .. maybe I did not so I am ….. not going to say a thing) BUT from the trailer  it’s OK. Its funny, nothing special YET, nothing BAD, nothing OUTSTANDING, sure! NOT the original cast, but I mean COME ON do you guys REALLY think Woody Harrelson is going to go back to TV, on Amazon for that matter, after years of being the stoooooopid idiot on Cheers after his success on the silver screen to play a KICK BUTT zombie killing side kick? And Jesse Eisenberg,after being in “The Newsroom” “Rio” “30 Minutes or Less” etc would do a ONLY ON AMAZON show?? and the OMG HOT Emma Stone??? Who was already a cult classic geek babe fanboy pinup girl with “Superbad” and is a regular in Robot Chicken.. you guys are high! PLUS she has jumped the fence and is is is in the the big sandboxes with the big boys. 2011 she was in Oscar award winning “The Help” and is currently filming the next amazing film by Alejandro González Iñárritu, “Birdman” She has moved on to films with Auteurs! Because Alejandro is amazing, funny enough though, a trilogy of some of his most influential films have themes of death (wicked grin) We own a lot of his stuff before he came to Hollywood… anyway back to the trailer for the pilot.

I will be watching this puppy because I am a fan of anything and everything zombie! AND I love the premise of the original movie AND!!!! I think that the Zombieland franchise would not have given it to Amazon, or sold if they did not think the concept pitched was going to be screwed up royally. I believe it was delayed because there were problems. I am glad it was delayed and not thrown up and bad! Like a good gaming girl knows, it is better to wait for a game then to get it all buggy and have to wait for patches, this is even more true for a TV show.. so get off your high horses oh one star reviewers of 12 seconds of advertising.. how in Hades can you write 20 words or on 12 seconds of a screen flashing COMING SOON is BEYOND me… keep your panties on!”

IT IS NOT AVAILABLE (the pilot) despite what other news sources are stating, so again KEEP YOUR PANTIES ON!!

The Witch Sea – a beautiful erotica not really an erotica

The Witch SeaThe Witch Sea by Sarah Diemer

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Sometimes an erotic story is not an erotic story, at least how we think of as one of ‘those’ stories. This is definitely one of them, no actual peeking under anyone skirts, no actual bow-chicka-wah-wah… This story is reminiscent of elegant and classic Gothic romances. Though labeled as Lesbian Fantasy, it is a story about learning to love and to accept that some people’s truths will never be your own and embracing yours as not only acceptable but truth. It is simply a stunning short story.

Again, the story is not just romance, or erotica, it is not masturbatory material under the waste line but above the nose in the frontal lobe. It is a beautiful and dark story about breaking through what one believes and accepting what is on one’s heart.

Heart wrenching, heart warming and beautifully written. A Witch Sea is a lyrical piece full of complex and wonderful allegory with a dark hidden treasure within the foam coating the edges of the driftwood on a beach full of common seaweed.

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CARGO – FAMILY FIRST – a short #Zombies

The Zombie Apocalypse Means many things to many people. Preparing for it is another story. You may think you’re ready, or may know you’re not. Regardless, those who think about the Zombie Apocalypse often think about how they would protect the ones they love.

What if the one you were trying to protect was too little to protect themselves in any way? What if you were their only protection in a Zombie Infested world? What if you… were bitten? What if the greatest threat to the one you cared most about, was you?

A new indie-short called “Cargo” explores all this and more in a brief but gripping 7 minutes.

F-ING HELL, this book is AWESOME “Stranger Will”

Stranger WillStranger Will by Caleb J. Ross

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

THIS BOOK IS OMG awesome!

ANYWAY… WARNING, I use the F-word four times (which I thought I was restraining myself) and ASS twice.. but I don’t think one of them counts, and a couple of the FUCKS were wonderful alterations according to my friends.. so I am down with it! CARRY ON!

F is for a frightening experience (and the F-word)

This review rated M for mature as in Facebook said I swear more than 89% of all my friends. I am making sure I live up to their assessment in this review, and I promise, like Catch-22, it needs to be in here. I am still going “Whiskey Tango Foxtrot what did I just finish reading? WAIT not reading EXPERIENCING?!” Now, I am going to do something different, I am going to rate it first…

glass

Five hundred million Bottles of Awesomesauce – there is nothing more, not even bacon at this point
If language offends you … I really wanted to apologize ahead of time but I can’t! I tried to write this straight, but I can’t! I am still dealing with dropped jaw syndrome! So…*shrugging shoulders* this book would probably not be something you could handle if the occasional fuck bothered you anyway. It takes balls to take this book on! And I know a lot of you have them, so strap them on ladies and hitch them up, gentlemen and take it on, you will NOT be disappointed. Do not eat before you read, hug your children and be happy with your decision to breed and enter a world that extrapolates to the extreme ‘WHAT IF” and, what the fuck! and most importantly? Be careful what you wish for, sometimes someone really can grant your wishes, even if you didn’t mean it!

Ever read one of those books that sticks to you brain pan like duct tape on a shaved cats ass.. oh wait that may not mean something to all of you ummm OK that sticks like extra strength duct tape, let’s leave it at that! It is the foundation for a myriad of messed up bad dreams and unsettled sleep for the last week. I am deeply and quite deliciously disturbed by this. It has darkness in it, it oozes and gushes epically awesome frightening darkness. All manner of messed up people live in this town where  our protagonist Will now lives. And he is in charge of cleaning up behind their worthless lives.

He has a f-ed up but necessary job, he is a human remains removal expert. Car accidents, decomposing bodies stuck to their E-Z chairs… its.. fragrant and ripe with festive insanity. But the bodies are not there just what is left behind. We all wonder what kind of mark we will make in this world and I do not think any of you imagine it will be the puddle of decomp jelly where your fat ass fell asleep watching Jeopardy and stuffing Ho-hos in your gullet. Or spread across the scene that can be hosed away on the interstate. Give up your dreams and forget about clean underwear because it won’t matter at this point.

NOTHING I have read can compare to this except maybe the Story of the Eye by Georges Bataille. Georges may have a 21th century brainchild in Caleb J. Ross and Georges is called the “metaphysician of evil,” specializing in blasphemy, profanation, and horror.

Throughout all of this Will is dealing with a pregnant fiance whom he is trying to convince to be rid of the child of before term or if at term to give up. It is full deep imbibing metaphors to immerse your psyche in. It has dark, cruel comedy, he is pretty much a top-notch prick to his fiance and shes obsessed with the belief everything he does and comes in contact with is a health risk to the unborn child. The cleaning supplies he uses coats his clothes, the cigarettes he chain smokes, now outside for her. Well for him, because he does not want to deal with her complaining. I haven’t read a book like this, ever!

Yet, just when I hate this guy, just when I start climbing on my fancy feminist fuck-off wagon? He does something showing heart. He feels bad.. he doesn’t talk about what he has to do or what his cleanup will be. He convinces himself it is because he doesn’t want to deal with her wrath but there is a part of him that is soft enough to remember why they are together. At least that is my warm fuzzy place I have to think about so when he lights a bird on fire and I am right back on the feminist fuck-off  wagon I do not pull both guns.

My mouth is still hanging open when I think back on what I read. There is one scene that will forever be burnt into my soul, wait a lot more than one..but the first really horrific scene is a house which has a perfectly maintained lawn in a neighborhood of perfectly maintained lawns and houses, but this house? It is falling to pieces like a forgotten and neglected elderly family member. There was so many symbols seeping from pipes and filling up the basement. Melville would have had a field day with the symbolic iconography in just the kitchen alone. I.. I… I want to tell you so much but I am afraid if I do you would miss out on the shock, which like my swear words is necessary   Oh Em Gee try it for yourself, seriously! *mouth hangs open, head shakes, looks at the cat and whispers…” Seriously Asrielle, maybe I better take the squirrel in residence some folks may come after me but then again some folks may be sending me pounds and pounds of bacon!”

Now, I have to leave you here. I probably could go on another 1ooo words because I have not even gone back over in my brain what happens a bit before you hit the halfway mark, or the playing catch with one of the short-bus kids and a decomposing racoon. (do not even go there, there is no way I can be politically correct while trying to explain this. Plus, the short-bus kid? He captures the heart of Will along with me!) Just trust me. Oh and I did not mention the twisted idea of a fairy godmother who leads all this merry mayhem. I would choose her as a fairy godmother mind you she is more like Satan’s spawn of a godmother!

black-duckyI recieved this book as part of a Novel Publicity Tour for a fair and honest review. I do not think it gets more honest than this… I then went and bought it for five of my friends and demanded under pain of death to read or I would send the ninja squirrel assassin, Fred, to their house..

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Review: Dark Spaces – A collection of suspenseful short stories

Dark Spaces - A collection of suspenseful short stories
Dark Spaces – A collection of suspenseful short stories by Dionne Lister
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Breathe in Autumn
An Awakening
An Outback Lament
Sarah’s Story
The Presentation
Timmy’s Escape
Amy
Heart of an Angel
Climbing Everest

Reading the list if the eight selected stories for Ms. Lister’s flash fiction anthology had me pondering at what maid between. The cover alluding to just one of the dark spaces which lie there and perhaps within our own sub-concious, nightmares and; for some, memories we’ve chosen to leave in the dark.

Dionne caught me unaware from start to finish. The strong thematic choices in her line up appear to have you climbing up out of darkness to reach the summit if light. But as with most suspense in shorts such as these the small twists and turns will have you going sideways and even tripping you back into the corner before moving you forward to the next.

Flash fiction is a challenging exercise in creativity. For many writers it is just a tool to keep us writing, the tips of our pens sharp. Rarely can we put together such solid prose into any semblance of theme. Not only has she done just this but she leaves you wanting for more.

The only reason I did not give it a five was perhaps my poet within wanting to swap a few around and two stories did not have as powerful of a punch compared to the rest.

Breathe in Autumn dusted off a nightmare. Outback Lament brought me back to my roaming in the hill country. Timmy’s Escape is reminiscent of tales told to innocent ears around campfires and Amy leaves your mouth open in the “oooohhh” position.

Take a chance, shine a lantern over in this dark place and go grab the perfect quick read and taste of the authors expansive talent. She’s well known to many for her young adult fantasty but these will show you another side and leave you want for more.

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