Crazy Lady: “Hey Brian!” Brian: “How’s NaNoWhineMo going?”…

So my Brian woke me up as he slipped into the body of my partner who had yet again fallen asleep in his chair while mining for gold, killing dragons or sucking the souls out of bandits around .. you guessed it, 8:37 am. OK I can understand when my own Brian does it, but when the brian who is not my brian does it, or when someone’s foot does it? Did I hear it at precisely at 37 after? Or did my Brian actually wait till that time just to fuck with me more? Something to ponder after the percolator creates for me my current life line to reality and sanity, coffee with a few cinnamon sticks in the grounds with my own anise sugar.

I have taken note of this, and know that I have not been taking care of myself. I have been letting the problems of others rule my world. The line between being a selfish “C U Next Tuesday” and being a laptop ready to lick the shit off your shoe is a narrow tight-wire to maintain a balance on. The problem still is Brian is an asshole. He is still standing behind the bar, polishing that same glass and whispering a list of awesome ideas to write and ponder on which I have tried desperately to get down before he catches on that the real Kriss is here and her BRAIN is actually functioning at the level that he can go back to his now dingy corner bar with the nightmares represented by regulars while I go and find a smoothie bar at a gym. (Or at least my BRAIN does)

This is my Brain on Brian

This is my Brain on Brian — Everyone meet Brian

crazed lady at the piano– “So what the fuck, going to take my freaking laptop out to get me to write? Kind of defeats the purpose doesn’t it asshole!'”

Brian–“Hey, not my fault his ass constantly passes out playing whatever mind numbing virtual drug he needs to calm down and relax. He really should try pot it would work better and be less damaging to his Brian”

crazy lady sipping coffee over by the silk plant–“Hey fuck off, he is a clean machine… ok well unless you count AMP which really is his problem, his body runs on that shit and any day he goes without is a day he spends slipping in and out of consciousness  Plus he has to work with women all day long, he has estrogen poisoning… and come home to me, a person who talks to imaginary  people in her head, deals with crazy artists all day on top of her own apparent psychosis.'”

Brian--“True, very true..” pausing he gestures with his towel and pours out a shot of Bushells and sips “So, what are you going to do then?”

crazy lady over by the Trash-80 typing–“Since I not only wake up at 37 minutes after the hour I am now waking up with that fucking brilliant song of Russian Unicorn in my head, like as in it won’t stop and has not stopped in the last 10 days whenever my BRAIN starts to hand the reins off to you, I am going to see if I can fit it into Gargoyle Hungers, if not I am going to write a fucking short story about hunting Russian Unicorns, what do you think about that, fucker?”

Brian–“OK go for it, but I am betting you will look up as you are sipping that defiled coffee and see a number on your FB tab you convieniantly left peeking and merrily take a break to check on it and get ohhh 294 words in today, assmunch!”

Take a Cup of Cute and shove up your ass BRIAN!

Apparently the shot of Bushells, his brilliant and successful orchestration of attempted computercide has given Brian a set of balls. I am screwed. 11 days to go and 39K to write. Will I make it? I have not thrown the proverbial town in yet, I still know where it is and will continue to let Brian have his way with me as he continues to polish that same glass

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjaZNYSt7o0]

So a really cool thing though, before I forget,  The Book of Paul author, Richard Long?  He has a special going on for all his newsletter subscribers in honor of Thanksgiving (seas0n of thanks and all) a Sneak Peak at “The Dream Palace”

“The Dream Palace” is Richard’s much talked about and long awaited by many young adult fantasy novel. As a way to thank during this week of Thanksgiving to his fans and supporters — all subscribers to the newsletter will be getting a sneak peak and also teases through out the week till then from the book and about the book.  So if you have not subscribed yet, I would go subscribe now. I love Richard and his dark transgressive smart read for adults is one of the biggest treasures I have found this year. His young adult book proves to also be a beauty of a read. Go subscribe now

  • Have I managed to finish a cup of coffee yet? NO
  • Have you accomplished anything? Well other than the above, yes I have mapped out a chapter and written a dream scene.
  • Do you have a clear plan of the day? Wait it is Monday and it is my Sunday officially, I am showering, shopping and getting mail if I can get the asshole out of bed and talked into this.
  • Think I can take a break and actually read today since I have a few books to finish? Yes, so get a move on with HUNTRESS so you can move onto BLUFF, RIFT and VOLCANOES. *Brian nudgest me*– “oh and then there is going pee, don’t forget to do that today, oh and eat.. remember to eat, I did asshole, toast and bacon already, just no coffee yet it is brewing as I write this and take time to make something, not just throw it between bread and call it creative” Geoff is home, no worries on that, I plan on eating out while on errands.
    crazed woman sucking down cold coffee– “WAIT DID you not notice my incredible make ahead I discovered I still had 24 of? Dim Sum asshole!

Until then, that is 1104 words for what is now my official NaNoWhineMo! I am thinking of just starting fresh, I can do 50K in 11 days right? This is SO it is counting for The Indie Exchanges NaNoTIEMo.

Cheese Steak Hell…

Image

I am sitting here waiting on a much earned plate of fries and what the waitress claims is their famous cheese steak. Not my usual fair, though not a vegetarian I rarely eat red meat, especially something like this. I am to tired to even peruse the menu, and craving fries and I asked the waitress what she would suggest is the most carb-loaded calorie filled comfort food, the waitress insists that cheese steak is my best bet.

The drive today was a nightmare. I knew being the only driver on this trip was going to be difficult, but driving I-5 is terrifying. I really should have gone to AAA and had them map me out a trip up the coast but gas prices the way they are it would be a waste in money. I could have endured must of it, but just my freaking luck, my iPod adapter crapped out on me so I was forced to listen to the local stations that constantly faded in an out. By the time I finally came to a rest here, somewhere near the border of Oregon, I was being force fed country music from the bowels of hell. I am sure this is going to induce some sort of nightmare later.

After checking into the local Best Western, I called my landlady today letting her know I was on my way. She told me to take it easy on the Alaskan Highway especially in Canada (apparently it is called the ALCAN) because breakup had not fully hit many of the areas. I assured her that I had my Milepost all marked and ready to go with reservations along the way. She just warned me that even with that I need to be fully prepared. I also promised to give her a call each night since I knew no one up there and would be traveling on a deserted highway for much of the time. This is kind of disconcerting, deserted highway? Wonder what is up with that? Oh well food for thought. Speaking of which dinner is here, I hope I survive this mess!

At least I have been lucky with all the free WiFi I have found!
Continue reading

Goodbye Bisbee Arizona

Image

It is official and my head is still spinning as of this morning, I am moving to Alaska! Everyone thinks I am nuts, but I have always wanted to live there. I love Arizona, don’t get me wrong, and I love the heat, plus I really love Bisbee and will miss it dearly. Mom and Dad are going nuts, my idget brother thinks I am insane along with many of my friends. But I really need a change! I have sold the Miata, had a huge sidewalk sale, said my goodbyes, got my official hat from Mad Maia, now all that is left is to pick up the U-Haul.

I wish I could tell everyone the secret reason why I was leaving, but for now it has to stay that way. I cannot even type it out here, the words may cause such a panic I will end up chickening out, and it was to late for that. I had already paid for a semester of school and mailed a security deposit on a place to stay. After all these months it was time to start again, and it needed to be as far away from here as possible.

This is going to be one of the last nights I can sit in my favorite window seat and see my glorious town. Oh sweet Bisbee, is this really the right thing to do? I can smell the bread baking for tomorrow morning at the cafe down the street, there is a dog barking across the way. I wonder if the echos are the same in Alaska? I wonder what it will be like without Arizona sunsets? OH well I better get some sleep, tomorrow is going to be a long day!